Transporter 3

Don’t mess with the bull, or you get the horns!

I know I’ve expressed plenty of Jason Statham love on this site before. The guy IS the new action hero. Unfortunately, if he’s ever gonna get mass-market appeal, he’s gonna have to get himself hooked up with either an A-List star (say a Bruce Willis or Samuel Jackson) or a B-List actress. In the case of this film, a B-List actress would have gone a long way.

I can understand when a movie has a budget and needs to go easy on the actor salaries. But whoever is the casting director for “Transporter 3” made a major boo-boo when enlisting unknown actress, Natalya Rudacova, as the lead actress. Not only is this woman a horrible actress, she pretty much dragged the whole movie down to D-List.

I hate to totally rag on a single person because I imagine this is this actresses big break (she has no other films to her credit on IMDB). But for the record…this was one of the worst peformances I’ve ever seen. She’s not good…and she pretty much ruins the entire film. And…that pretty much sums it up. At one point, she and Strathan make out on a grassy knoll and have mad monkey sex in the back of a car. It’s about as sexy as watching paint dry and the scene makes absolutely no sense to the context of the film or it’s 2 characters.

Okay…I’ve made my case. So what’s it all about (besides a bad actress and monkey sex?)? Well…ecological terrorists are out to sabatoge a diplomat. So they enlist the Transporter (Strathan) to take a package to a designated area. The kicker is that he can’t get get over 100 feet away from his car or else an explosive bracelet that they have placed on him will explode. And that’s it. Nothing too exciting for the plotline and “Crank” was a much better premise as far as setting up action sequences. For that matter, the 2 previous Transporters were MUCH better as far as “plot” goes…and these movies are NEVER about plot.

So, as you can imagine, I’m not giving this a “must see” review. Strathan solidifies his ability to carry the action and is, in my opinion, the best action hero out there now. But he can’t continue to try to carry films. He needs to find himself roles (like “Snatch” & “The Italian Job”) that allow him to showcase his assets (acting, fighting choreography, rock hard abs) while working with actors who are actually above par. In this film, he didn’t do that. So if you crave a little action after your holiday meals, I would recommend seeing “Quantum Of Solace”. The actors are much better and the action is 10 times more riveting!

Overall Rating: C-


One thought on “Transporter 3

  1. What was the director thinking when he “discovered” her walking across the street. She is totally incongruent. Ruined the movie, such as the movie is. I felt sorry for her throughout. He must have had a hell of a first few dates with her to cast her in the role. Tacky, but what else could drive such bad judgment? There are at least two dozen B- actresses that would blow that “performance” out of the water and make te movie at least more credible for the genre. Astounding bad judgment.

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