The Book Of Eli Is NOT A Good Movie

At the end of the world, ALL women look like THIS?!?!

The plot, as described by IMDB is…”a post-apocalyptic tale in which a lone man fights his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind.”

MY opinion is…the plot is terrible. The acting is terrible. The dialogue is laughable. And the whole idea of this movie is utterly ridiculous.

Have I made myself clear enough on this? Because anyone who knows me knows I love apocalyptic movies. I’ve seen everything from “The Last Man On Earth” to “The Road” and now THIS comes along and pretty much makes a mockery of the entire genre.

And I’ve heard some different opinions, people saying they liked it or thought it was decent and to them I say…you haven’t SEEN a good apocalyptical movie then because THIS film was utter crap.

Let’s start at the top. Denzel Washington. What a fantastic actor and with his credentials, he could star is a comedy musical and I’d probably go see it. From “Glory” to “Training Day” to “Man On Fire”, the guy has intensity. He’s a fantastic actor who deserves a much better vehicle than this. Throughout this film, he mutters and acts all bad-ass and then half-way through the movie, he adopts a pretty young girl to tote around with him (a TOO pretty Mila Kunis, who should stick to ensemble comedies like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) even though he originally locks her in a cave only to have her POOF…magically reappear. Then he begins acting all nice and soft and cuddly. That is…until big, bad Gary Oldman, hobbling around with a team of ugly rowdies, tracks him down and tries to take his book…the book of Eli…which is actually the King James Bible.

Oh…there is a bunch of scenes dedicated to why he is protecting the book and why he is heading west through the devastation of our world. There are some action sequences where Eli uses a machete and a gun and a shotgun and everybody has tons of ammunition in this barren world but not a copy of the Bible, apparently. So all this is going down and there are more action sequences and then…Eli gets shot. And he dies.

Or does he?

It’s all very curious what happens next but the movie goes on and I won’t play spoiler even if I do think the movie is a piece of crap. Because it is. But if you MUST watch it, then I won’t spoil it. But I gotta tell you…if I hadn’t been there with a friend, I woulda walked out. It’s that bad. And except for the locations and set designs (which are very much like “The Road”, which is an EXCELLENT post-apocalyptical film by MY standards), this movie isn’t worth the matinee price that I paid to get in.

Overall Rating: D-


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