The Killer Inside Me (a.k.a. The Stupid Movie My Brother Bet Me I Wouldn’t Watch And I Did And Now He Owes Me A Popcorn & A Soda!!!)

So the bet was made…Frank had given me this movie sometime last summer and I hadn’t watched it. And then fall rolled around and I STILL hadn’t watched it. “But it’s the greatest movie EVER!” Frank proclaimed. “You MUST watch it! I’ll bet you a popcorn and a soda that you don’t watch this movie by Thanksgiving. If you do watch it, I’ll buy you a corn and a pop. If not, you owe me.”

And so I did. I’m not a gambler but I’ll be damned if he’s gonna win THIS one over me…

So what is this movie about? Was it released in theaters? Who is in it? I mean…I had never heard of it. But apparently it’s AWESOME! But guess what? Much like so many of the movies my brother loves (The Godfather, Fight Club…oh wait…I really DID like Fight Club), I don’t get it. And that’s ok. He doesn’t get my “Night Of The Comet” fetish either. So I DID watch this movie and I have to admit…it put me asleep twice. But I got through it and here’s my review…

Casey Affleck (one of the best actors of this generation?) plays a sadomasochistic deputy who gets involved in some kind of plot to bring down the local big wig in his town. It’s a convoluted plot and never really gets off the ground but it’s enough to move the movie forward, allowing Affleck the chance to stare silently out a window while a narrative describes what he’s thinking while old 40’s music plays on the soundtrack. Oh and he beats up women. Good guy, this deputy. He pummels poor hooker Jessica Alba (seriously? A hooker who looks like Alba in Oklahoma??? Forget it…) and then shoots the son of the big wig in the head and tries to cover it up. Not surprisingly he finds it becomes difficult keeping the secret because people keep showing up who know what he did that summer. Oh wait…that’s a DIFFERENT movie. I mean…that night.

So people die. Not all on camera really, but we assume they do. And there’s the Alba beating scene which is the highlight of this little movie. Affleck literally beats her to death on screen. Blow after blow shows her face turning into mulch as the director allows it to go on for about 4 minutes or so. It IS brutal and one of the meanest scenes I’ve ever seen in a film all year. But really all it does is show what a lunatic this guy is. But honestly…Alba is such a poor actress, I can’t blame the director for wanting to beat her silly.

So Affleck and Alba are the “stars”, with guest turns by Ned Beatty and Kate Hudson. Beatty probably needed the work after his “Superman” residuals dried up but what Hudson is doing in here is anyones guess. Doesn’t she have another bride movie to work on? What the hell???

Anyway, I didn’t care much for “The Killer Inside Me.” I’m pretty sure this was my brother’s attempt to get back at me for a wedgie I gave him when he was 9. And I have to tell you…this plot seems like a giant wedgie after watching for about an hour! Slow pacing, boring story and I never could figure out why this guy was a psycho. Apparently it had something to do with an early fetish for spanking hot babysitters or something. Whatever…I give up trying to figure it out.

Overall Rating: D…and the only thing saving it is its soundtrack which is pretty damn good! Frank…ya owe me a corn and a soda!

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2 thoughts on “The Killer Inside Me (a.k.a. The Stupid Movie My Brother Bet Me I Wouldn’t Watch And I Did And Now He Owes Me A Popcorn & A Soda!!!)

  1. Wow. I guess that’s why everyone has their own tastes… Hence my wife disliking the Beatles, but loving Hanson. 

    I thought it was an amazingly cool movie and the last thing that happened was any sleeping or dozing off. It was suspense and intrigue defined, with a love story to boot! If you were not titillated by the mental anguish and cunning of Casey Aflack’s character, then I’m confounded. It was along the lines of a Chuck Palahniuk suprise (yes I had to look up the spelling of his last name) with the functioning psychosis of a main character like Jeff Lindsay’s Dexter and by the end you’re rooting for the love story, a la Thelma and Louise. 

    Anyways, I agree with Frank… It IS a classic.

    Solid “A” and yes, the soundtrack is really good (we can at least agree on one thing)

    🙂

    I don’t get the “amazingly cool movie” part. Everyone has their tastes, I understand (The Beatles compared to Hanson? Uh….no.), but this movie literally went nowhere for me. I didn’t find it intriguing at all. It meandered aimlessly and I never once understood Affleck’s character. I thought about your Dexter comparison and I’m wondering what makes this character so different compared to that character and the only thing I can come up with is this…Dexter is interesting because of his intentions. Affleck’s character was NOT complex. He was boring. Here’s a guy who beats up & kills women and kids. That’s not my idea of intriguing. Dexter hunts other serial killers. If he hunted prostitutes and children he wouldn’t be interesting to me at all. He’d be an asshole that I’d want put away and have the key thrown away. As for the “love story” with Alba, it was ridiculous. Here she is, this gorgeous woman, a prostitute in Oklahoma?!?! Never happen. As a matter of fact, having her in this movie at all was a gamble that did not pay off. It’s not a good role for her and she’s terrible in it. Give me a Maggie Gyllenhaal or a more “plain” woman and then it works. But not Alba. I don’t even know what you’re talking about when you mention love story. There is no love story here. He beats her and then fantasizes about her when she’s dead and because he does this its a “love story?” Nah. And then the ending? HORRIBLE way to end that film. Just sayin’…

    So we definitely do NOT agree on this one at all. And that’s all good. It’s a movie. But for me anyway, this is NOT a classic. It’s a 99 cent cheapie rental that will sit in the bargain bin and the only reason people will watch it is because Jessica Alba is smokin’ hot in it. But as a hooker in Oklahoma? She’s ridiculous. That’s all it has to offer.

  2. First thing, I said it was a great movie not the greatest ever. Fight Club hold that spot atop of my list bubba. Now, to tell you where you went wrong…..

    Casey’s character was set to get revenge on the men in this town that killed his brother for being a child molester. That is the opposite of Dexter, but still intriguing. As for the romance between Alba and Affleck, we don’t need to understand why but only that they are in some kind of crazy person love – and that Affleck still didn’t hesitate to lose it for his cause. The beating of Alba wasn’t the interesting part of that scene, Affleck talking her through it was the key.
    I thought the “cover up” killings of his wife and the homeless man were just filler, further showing just how mad he is I suppose. The only part that dragged or confused me was his stay in the mental hospital. That whole segment could have been cut.
    The ending was classic, no questioning that. You got to see Affleck finish his plot while reuniting with his love. I am not saying all of his crazy motives made sense to me, but I could see how his rationale justified it.
    I guess what really made this movie great was that none of the killings were treated as special events (except for his). No eerie background music, fancy slow-mo explosions or such.
    No matter what, it was still better than Cloverfield.

    I’m sorry…I fell asleep after “That is the opposite of Dexter.” Could you send me the Cliff’s Notes and I’ll get back to it later? Thanks…

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