The Expendables

Let’s see…take 10 or so of the 80’s & 90’s biggest action film stars, throw them together and fire off a ton of ammo and you have the ingredients for the mother of all action flicks…right?

Well…kind of.

I’m not sure which is worst. The fact that almost all of these action stars have aged so much or if I’m the one who has aged and these kinds of movies now come across as completely stupid. Either way, something was lacking in this movie and I’m not sure who to blame. Here’s what I DO know…I’m tired of movies where the “heroes” go storming the castle and the bad guys are firing off millions of rounds of ammo and amazingly not one of the good guys gets hit. Meanwhile the good guys can literally throw knives from a quarter mile away while running (in slow motion) and are accurate enough to hit a gunman in the throat. I mean…seriously?

All of this kind of action is obviously catering to a certain crowd and it’s no surprise that with all the action stars, a few of them are gonna get short-changed for screen time. It IS a good thing that the ones who are NOT short-changed are Statham & Stallone. I would have to say that Statham is easily the action star of this generation so it was smart of the producer of this movie to make him a highlighted character. He’s given a bulk of the dialogue and is best man to director Stallone’s character. Stallone is, by all accounts, still an action star. He’s bulked up, veins poppin’ all over the place and he still has that “Rocky” mentality. He’s the underdog trying to do good and even with the odds against him, he’s bigger and badder than even the biggest and baddest. Also playing along are Dolph Lundgren (who is surprisingly good in this movie), Jet Li, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke (in a limited role…which is too bad), Bruce Willis (also limited…ALSO too bad), Steve Austin plays a bad guy (which is for the best. The guy cannot act at all) and there’s a guest appearance by Ahnuld that gets the 3 big guns from the 80’s together in one scene that was pretty much the talk of the town last summer (2010) when this film was released.

So there you have the main cast. I could get into a plot but why bother? You know the score. If you don’t like this kind of movie (action sequences that defy physics, a hailstorm of bullets and explosions, violent hand-to-foot-to-face combat), you’re not gonna see it. If you DO love this kind of movie, then you’ve already seen it and that’s where this movie fails. I’ve already seen this kind of flick a hundred times and director Stallone doesn’t give me any reason to want to see it again. It’s brutal and over-the-top but the characters are shallow, the action is ridiculous and mission is lame. Which makes me think that the sequel (which is being made right now and scheduled for release in 2012) will probably be pretty much the same thing…except with more Ahnuld. Now that he’s out of office, he’s gotta find SOMETHING to do with his time. Oh wait…we already know what he’s been doing in his spare time…

Overall Rating: C-

10 Second Review: It’s loud, it’s dumb and it’s just what you would expect. If that’s your kind of movie…then by all means…check this one out! Statham and Stallone don’t disappoint but beyond that, it’s the same old, same old.

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