“Rock Star” Ain’t “Lovely” But It Will Do

I’m not really a Mark Wahlberg fan. As a matter of  fact, I think he is one of the worst actors for hire today. He has one style…and that is intense. If he’s not intense, he’s not good. So when he is in a movie like “Shooter” or “Three Kings”, where he can be in fighting mode, he’s not bad. But you put him in a drama? Boooring. Except for maybe “Boogie Nights”, but that was more of an ensemble film and he IS kinda boring in that movie also.

So Wahlberg has very little to offer and I see that he is playing the father role in the upcoming Peter Jackson film, “The Lovely Bones.” So now I need something…ANYTHING…to show me that he CAN actually act. Because after seeing “The Happening” last summer, I have my serious doubts that he can possibly be the best choice for the father in such a serious film based on a very serious book. So, on someone’s recommendation, I decided to check out “Rock Star.” And now I am pretty sure that his role in “The Lovely Bones” is gonna be a disaster.

But we’ll have to wait to see about that. What I can say about “Rock Star” is that it’s not bad. And it’s a truly great role for Wahlberg! He IS the star in this movie and he plays the role well enough. The only problem is…it’s not a really deep role. It’s a single note role about a guy who has a dream to be the lead singer of a band and eventually he becomes the lead singer. There is much drama between he and his girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston), he and his tribute bandmates and he and the band he joins called “Steel Dragon.” Eventually it all gets worked out and the movie ends in a tight little package where everyone gets what they want and all is well in “Rock Star” land. It’s not a bad film at all (I actually really enjoyed it!) and, as you can imagine, it has a really great soundtrack. But there is not a lot more to it than that.

So “Rock Star” is good date movie fare, but I would hardly call it a “drama”. So now I’m concerned for “The Lovely Bones”. I love the book and there is so much talent in the film with Jackson directing and stars such as Stanley Tucci, Susan Sarandon & Racehl Weisz, that I worry that he might drag the whole thing down to mediocrity. Which would be sad.

Overall Rating: B
Wahlberg’s Performance: B
Odds that Wahlberg will drag down “The Lovely Bones”: More than likely

My “Proposal”? More Of A Plot…

You’ll need more coffee by the time THIS one is over…

“The Proposal” with Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds is a straight up, by the books, no surprises anywhere romantic comedy. And that’s it. Nothing new to report. It basically starts out with Reynolds being the assistant to the high-powered executive Bullock, who is the “wicked witch” of the company. They are then forced to concoct a “we’re getting married” plan when she is told she is being deported back to Canada and then the story goes from there. As you can imagine, they eventually fall in love and everyone claps when they kiss at the end and cue the cute credits.

I don’t know what it is about these movies but they seem to do well. This is one of Bullock’s biggest moneymakers, and I’m sure there are more of them lined up. I guess on a Friday date night you could do worse. Both stars are likeable and there isn’t anything wrong with what they do here. The supporting cast is strong (Betty White is funny, Mary Steenburgen still looks great and Craig T. Nelson plays the crotchety dad) and the idea of having Reynolds being an Alaskan is a decent idea. But this comedy never really attempts to be anything other than what it is…an average date flick. And that isn’t a terrible thing. It’s just not something I’ll ever have to watch again.

Aaaaand that is pretty much it.

Overall Rating: C-

Cloudy With A Chance Of AWESOMENESS!

STEVE!

Lately it is hard to argue that children’s films have become a whole lot more entertaining for kids & adults alike. Although I haven’t been a fan of EVERY movie that has hit the market lately (like “Up!”), I have to admit to being very entertained by most of them (“Monsters vs Aliens”,”Kung Fu Panda”) and have written so on this here blog. So when I took my family to see “Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs”, I was sure that it was gonna be a good time. Not only was it a good time, it was possibly the most laughs I’ve had watching a movie in a long time!

Flint Lockwood is a genius. Or so he thinks. And he likes to create gadgets in his lab. Of course, none of them work. But his mom has told him to follow his dream, so he does. And eventually, many years after his mother’s death, he creates a machine that can create food out of water. He launches the machine over his hometown island and eventually the food is falling at an alarming rate. Along the way, Flint finds love, happiness and friendship…and that ALWAYS makes for a good, family friendly movie.

I have seen a couple of movies in 3D that really didn’t live up to the hype. Thankfully…this one does. The 3D effect is used with reckless abandon in this film and for good reason. With food flying everywhere, the visual effects play a huge role in the movie and directors Phil Lord & Chris Miller use it extensively and it really adds an added dimension to the movie. Whether it’s giant meatballs falling out of the sky or Flint’s nose poking at you or one of the many action sequences, “Cloudy” does 3D the way it was MEANT to be…fast, fun & furious! 

There are so many great things about this movie that I can’t even begin to name them all, but topping the list are the pacing, the never-ending sight gags and Steve. And the actors who do most of the voiceover work (Bill Hader, Anna Ferris, Mr. T) are all perfect. This is easily one of my favorite movies of the year and will rank very high at the end of 2009 on many “Best Of” lists, I’m sure.

Overall Rating: A+

Paranormal Activity

For a measly $11,000, this indie horror film was made and finally distributed to a worldwide audience. It’s reputation was similiar to that of “The Blair Witch Project” in that it was produced independently, it was made on a shoestring budget and the word-of-mouth on it was through the roof. So…what was my opinion of it? Was it worth all the hype? And my opinion is…no.

Not to say this film doesn’t have some pretty interesting & somewhat scary moments. But overall, as a complete film, I was pretty bored by most of it. Here’s the jest…2 lovebirds have moved in together and weird things have been waking them at night. Scratching noises, squeaking steps, etc. So the guy goes out and buys a video camera to document the happenings. Is it a ghost? Or a jealous demon there to wreck havoc on their lives? The idea was a good one and so with that I imagined there would be all kinds of scary stuff going down. And eventually things do happen. But it takes FOREVER to get to the point where I actually felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up and by then it was too late. I had grown tired of this movie and all of the bad acting.

For the record, I really liked “Blair Witch” and I absolutely loved “Cloverfield” (which also used the handheld camera trick) as full length feature films. This movie could have been cut in half and I would have been okay with it and the handheld camera effect loses its luster eventually because the girlfriend keeps asking him to turn it off…over & over & over again. I didn’t really get the 2 characters. Sure, they are a couple dealing with supernatural things, but it takes so long for me to get interested in either of them that I finally almost fell asleep. But it’s when THEY go to sleep when the cool stuff happens. So I had to stay awake for THOSE sequences and toward the end of the movie they really deliver! I won’t tell you what happens but it is at the end when the scary “camera locked down and shooting all night” effect really works. But, in its defense, the ending rivals that of the ending of Blair Witch…and is more satisfying. But I don’t know if it’s worth the admission cost and the time spent to get there…

Overall Rating: C-

Pontypool

Zombies? Whatchu talkin’ bout…zombies…

Well…another zombie movie review from Alan? Right? Weeeeell…kinda…but not really. Because “Pontypool” is one of those films that IS about zombies (kind of), but not really. I admit…it IS confusing, so let me start from the beginning.

Grany Mazzy (Stephen McHattie) is a radio shock jock from the big city who has been fired and has now reappeared as a morning drive radio personality in Pontypool. He’s not happy with it, but it’s the only job he can do…so he does it. He reads school closings, chats up local news coverage and is basically bored with his existence. His producer is left trying to reign him in as he spews his opinions and laughs at the ridiculous local way of life. But this morning, something is different. Callers are phoning in these bizarre occurrences and all hell is breaking loose outside the radio station. Before you know it, the end is near…or, at least, it seems that way.

And then what was cruising along and was really quite a dramatic little film hurls into this absurd direction and totally lost me. Once again, I’m not into spoilers, but my brother warned me the ending was bad…and it was. Kind of.

Look…I realize that finding new ways to present zombie movies is becoming difficult. Zombies exist for various reasons in every movie in which they appear. Comets, viruses, you name it. And in this movie, they come up with an inventive way for the zombies to exist once again. And there seems to be a message wrapped up in it. But I’m not buying it. It was a good idea, and some great acting, gone bad. McHattie is excellent as the radio jock from hell. His producer, played by unknown Lisa Houle, is also quite good in her role. And the only other true cast member is Georgina Reilly playing the staff intern who comes to a rather gruesome end. It’s all done with lots of suspense and whispering into the mic and it really is quite scary for a while. But once the “zombies” attack the station and the true nature of their demise is shown, it almost ruins the movie. Almost.

I didn’t HATE “Pontypool”, I just wish it had ended differently. But for a rental, this isn’t a terrible flick and it is quite good in the beginning. Start strong, end stronger should be the case for a movie…and this one didn’t go for the slam dunk…it went for the layup. But the ball DID go through the hoop!

Overall Rating: B-

Trick R Treat

Originally made back in 2007 and never released in theaters, this frightfest of a little film is nothing but a lot of fun. If you liked “Creepshow”, you’ll love this movie. There’s not a lot of gore and it is all done in the same style as “Creepshow”, with 5 vignettes that are all tied together in some way. The 5 stories go like this…

1. A couple find out how unlucky blowing out a candle before midnight on Halloween really is.

2. A high school principal has a secret.

3. A group of female students are looking for some fun on Halloween and they definitely know how to party!

4. A Halloween prank goes a little too far.

5. The neighborhood curmudgeon gets a visit from a very scary trick or treater.

I don’t want to give away ANY plot points from this movie but it is a great way to get you into the Halloween spirit. With a relatively unknown cast that includes Anna Paquin, Brian Cox and Dylan Baker (you’ll know him when you see him), this movie has a heart filled with razor blades and poison. And the production value is fantastic with glowing pumpkins and rickety old houses and scarecrows and costumes and such. It really is a good time!

So “Trick R Treat” is not gonna leave you grossed out but it will give you pause when you think of breaking any of the traditions of Halloween! Check it out on DVD and let me know what you think!

Overall Rating: A-

Where The Wild Things Are

I didn’t get to see this film. Actually…my son went with his friend and has a full report. So here it is…”Where The Wild Things Are”…a criticism by Christopher…

The kid jumped on the table. He was acting like he was being king. His mom chased after him and picked him up and the boy (Max) bit her and then ran away. He ran to “Where the Wild Things are”. Once he got there, the wild things tried to eat him. But they didn’t eat him because he said he was king. But they did want to eat him. And then the main “wild thing” (Carol) punched down walls and tore up things he made. And then Max sailed back home and the wild things cried. Carol cried because he was sad for what he did that made Max want to leave. When Max got home, he hugged his mom. And then they had dinner and some cake.

Overall Rating: C (And “C” stands for Christopher)

Couples Retreat

Hot, Hotter…Hottest!

Imagine if “Swingers” hooked up with “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and you basically have “Couples Retreat”…only less funny than both of them. Written by John Favreau & Vince Vaughn, this movie has plenty of star power but not enough personality. With a great cast which includes “Swinger” alum Vaughn & Favreau and then also including Kristen Bell (from “Saving Sarah Marshall”), Jason Bateman (Juno), Malin Ackerman (Watchmen) and Kristen Davis (Sex In The City), this movie SHOULD be hysterical! Buuuut it’s not.

Sure, it has its funny moments. There are a couple off the top of my head that I found amusing and had a few good laughs. However for the amount of stars included in this film, this one should have had my stomach quaking and my eyes crying. Instead, it tries to be funny & poignant & a date movie all in the same mix and it doesn’t work. My feeling on a movie like this is this…either go for the male viewer or go for the female viewer…but don’t try to get them both because each gender likes different types of humor. There’s not enough time to fit both into a movie (unless you’re “When Harry Met Sally” or something spectacular like that) and it eventually gets all bogged down in the end because the filmmaker HAS to go the sappy route to please the women…which sucks.

Movies such as “The Hangover” and “Knocked Up” succeed because they are basically movies for men. Oh…there are girly parts in them, but the humor is all GUY humor and that’s what makes it work…for me…as a guy. Which isn’t to say that if you are a woman you won’t totally love this movie. Which now it occurs to me that maybe it IS a chick flick, even though it has Vaughn, Favreau & Bateman in it. Which is a little odd…but whatever. I’m gonna leave it at this…”Couples Retreat” will make a great DVD rental for one of those nights when you are stuck at home in a snowstorm and your wife wants to watch a flick. It’s got a little bit of everything in it for everyone but never really gets the guts to go beyond that.

Overall Rating: C+

“Zombieland” Is A Ton O’ Fun

Do you like comedy? And romance? And Woody Harrelson? Oh…and zombies? If you answered ‘yes’ to each of these, then “Zombieland” is definitely for you! What might be the most fun I’ve had at the movies all year (although “Star Trek” was a lot of fun…it didn’t have zombies!), this little ensemble flick is exactly what you think it should be…mindless, violent fun.

Where some zombie flicks tend to get a little heavy-handed with the social commentary, this movie puts it’s tongue firmly in cheek and follows in the footsteps of “Shaun Of The Dead” by meeting horrific violence (this film has LOTS more violence than ‘Shaun’) with a bit of comedy and a heart of gold. At the beginning we meet Columbus, played by Jesse Eisenberg (who was last seen in “Adventureland”. What’s up next for this guy? “Spaceland”?), who is dealing with the aftermath of a mysterious virus that has taken over the population and turned everyone into zombies. He lives by several select rules so that he can survive, a few which are highlighted extensively in the movie and add a comic flair. Along the way, he meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a zombie-killing cowboy type who loves to hunt down the undead in his search for Twinkies. And later in the movie they find they have met their match as they run into 2 sisters who have also survived the apocalypse, played by Emma Stone (Superbad) and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine). The banter and wit of the script keeps the movie moving and there is never a dull moment in this tightly-packed hour and a half film. It’s not long, and that is a good thing.

Once again, I am not one to give away plot details, so I will say this…”Zombieland” has an awesome soundtrack, it has a great cast (including a surprise guest appearance by a film superstar!) and it is NEVER boring (the ending scene in an amusement park is worth the price of admission). If I were gonna recommend one horror movie this year, this wouldn’t be it. Because truthfully, under all the gore, this isn’t REALLY a horror movie. Oh sure…it’s scary. But it’s more of a buddy movie than a true “horror” movie. And for those with kids…it definitely lives up to its “R” rating with the amount of gore and scary moments! So go check out “Zombieland” with some adult friends and be ready to have a good time. “Zombieland” is a perfect blend of comedy/romance/scary and is PERFECT for this Halloween season!

Overall Rating: A