So the bet was made…Frank had given me this movie sometime last summer and I hadn’t watched it. And then fall rolled around and I STILL hadn’t watched it. “But it’s the greatest movie EVER!” Frank proclaimed. “You MUST watch it! I’ll bet you a popcorn and a soda that you don’t watch this movie by Thanksgiving. If you do watch it, I’ll buy you a corn and a pop. If not, you owe me.”
And so I did. I’m not a gambler but I’ll be damned if he’s gonna win THIS one over me…
So what is this movie about? Was it released in theaters? Who is in it? I mean…I had never heard of it. But apparently it’s AWESOME! But guess what? Much like so many of the movies my brother loves (The Godfather, Fight Club…oh wait…I really DID like Fight Club), I don’t get it. And that’s ok. He doesn’t get my “Night Of The Comet” fetish either. So I DID watch this movie and I have to admit…it put me asleep twice. But I got through it and here’s my review…
Casey Affleck (one of the best actors of this generation?) plays a sadomasochistic deputy who gets involved in some kind of plot to bring down the local big wig in his town. It’s a convoluted plot and never really gets off the ground but it’s enough to move the movie forward, allowing Affleck the chance to stare silently out a window while a narrative describes what he’s thinking while old 40’s music plays on the soundtrack. Oh and he beats up women. Good guy, this deputy. He pummels poor hooker Jessica Alba (seriously? A hooker who looks like Alba in Oklahoma??? Forget it…) and then shoots the son of the big wig in the head and tries to cover it up. Not surprisingly he finds it becomes difficult keeping the secret because people keep showing up who know what he did that summer. Oh wait…that’s a DIFFERENT movie. I mean…that night.
So people die. Not all on camera really, but we assume they do. And there’s the Alba beating scene which is the highlight of this little movie. Affleck literally beats her to death on screen. Blow after blow shows her face turning into mulch as the director allows it to go on for about 4 minutes or so. It IS brutal and one of the meanest scenes I’ve ever seen in a film all year. But really all it does is show what a lunatic this guy is. But honestly…Alba is such a poor actress, I can’t blame the director for wanting to beat her silly.
So Affleck and Alba are the “stars”, with guest turns by Ned Beatty and Kate Hudson. Beatty probably needed the work after his “Superman” residuals dried up but what Hudson is doing in here is anyones guess. Doesn’t she have another bride movie to work on? What the hell???
Anyway, I didn’t care much for “The Killer Inside Me.” I’m pretty sure this was my brother’s attempt to get back at me for a wedgie I gave him when he was 9. And I have to tell you…this plot seems like a giant wedgie after watching for about an hour! Slow pacing, boring story and I never could figure out why this guy was a psycho. Apparently it had something to do with an early fetish for spanking hot babysitters or something. Whatever…I give up trying to figure it out.
Overall Rating: D…and the only thing saving it is its soundtrack which is pretty damn good! Frank…ya owe me a corn and a soda!
Popcorn And A Soda 